jenneral (haplochant) wrote,
jenneral
haplochant

i'm a trashy criminal

I got pulled over for the first time in years the other night.

Was I speeding? No. The light had just turned green, and I was probably going three miles-per-hour, tops.

Did I forget to turn on my headlights, or was one of my tail lights out? Definitely not. In fact, I wasn't even in a car. Ladies and gentlemen, I got pulled over while driving... a trashcan.

It was raining heavily and the streets were flooding, but no matter what, the garbage at work has to be taken to our dumpster at the end of the night (a trek that requires crossing two different traffic lights because it's so far away from the coffee shop). It was my job to take it this particular evening, even though I was sure to get soaking wet. I grabbed a wayward hoodie from the lost-and-found, threw it over my head, and pushed Incredibly Full Trashcan over to the dumpster (hopping over deep puddles the entire way).

On the way back, blue lights exploded in the sky around me. And there he was, pulling right up beside me in his Crown Vic: the cop. Being the cooperative citizen I am, I used my turn signals and came to a full stop (you try parking rolling Rubbermaid dumpster in moving water!), but I gave him the "are you serious?" look anyway.

COP: What the heeeeellllll are you doin'?
ME [looking pointedly at the GIANT TRASHCAN in front of me which had perhaps escaped his notice] Ummm, taking out the trash.

[Pause.]

COP: Well, yer dressed all in black and walkin' in the middle of the road!

I looked around briefly to verify that I was not in fact dressed all in black and that I was pushing the trashcan on the shoulder of the road, not blocking oncoming traffic. These things confirmed, I was sortof at a loss what to say. So I went for the completely fucking obvious.

ME: There's two feet of rain in the gutter! I'm wearing canvas lo-tops. I'm not going to walk in that!
COP: Yeah, I know. Well... you better be careful!!

And he sped off.

And that is how I got pulled over in the rain while driving a trashcan. It's probably one of the most ridiculous things I've ever experienced.
Tags: cops, funnay, garbage, work, wtf
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